Mid-Major Majesty: Feb. 18, 2021
Gus Malzahn is Orlando's latest unpredictable tourist attraction.
Here’s a statement based entirely on the stereotype wisdom of the college football internet: If I’m a transfer quarterback looking at a Group of Five team in the next year or so, I’m booking a flight to Orlando. If I’m a high school junior or senior, I’m looking anywhere else.
That’s at least what Gus Malzahn’s experience at Auburn has been. You’re a good quarterback but need a system to play in? Do it. It’ll be great. You’re a high school kid who wants to develop? Uh.
The good thing, I guess, is that the Gus Bus is rolling into a program that has a good, established offense. Fans questioned whether Josh Heupel was a good coach and that team could still drop 50 on anybody. Gus is almost certainly a good coach but he’s also a weird coach, a chaos coach. To explain further, here are some scenarios I wouldn’t be surprised happen in the next couple of years at UCF:
A quarterback throws 70 touchdown passes in a season.
The Knights score 60 points twice in a season.
The Knights routinely beat other teams 13-6.
A quarterback throws fewer than 20 touchdowns in a season.
A quarterback transfers to UCF and turns out to be really good.
A quarterback transfers away from UCF and gets better.
Almost all of these things could happen in the same season and my reaction would be, oh, well, that’s Gus Malzahn.
Gus told Paul Finebaum he’s also going to call the plays, which, boy howdy, get ready. I’ve seen a good number of games where he called the plays. From play to play, I have never known what to expect.
All of this is to say I know two things for certain about this hiring: It’s impossible to say whether it’s good. But it is most certainly going to make for good television.
If you’re a UCF fan, I get your possible trepidation about the former. For the rest of us, this is gonna be great.
Games That Might Happen
Friday
No. 12 South Dakota State at No. 5 Northern Iowa, 8 p.m. ET
These two teams met twice last season with dramatically different results. During the regular season, the Jackrabbits rolled over the Panthers for a 38-7 victory at home in South Dakota. But when Northern Iowa returned a few weeks later, it was the Panthers coming out on top, 13-10 in a slugfest. These two teams have had more than a year locked up in their own houses to stew over those two games. Let’s call this the Meaningful Football Game of the Week.
Saturday
Morehead State at No. 2 James Madison, noon ET
If you consider Elon to be a person’s name and Richmond to be a person’s name (I do), this is James Madison’s only game this spring against a team that doesn’t have a person’s name. I know those two caveats are doing a lot of work in this joke, but I’ll just say that they have two games scheduled against William AND Mary AT THE SAME TIME.
Mercer at No. 17 Wofford, 1 p.m. ET, ESPN+
Wofford did not play in the fall but Mercer played thrice. They didn’t win any of those, but they did come close against Jacksonville State and Abilene Christian. They also played Army and that went about as you’d expect. Wofford is a different animal. (A terrier.) They won the Southern Conference last year and beat Mercer 41-7 last season.
Samford at East Tennessee State, 1 p.m. ET
Samford leads the overall record between the two teams 6-1, with the Bulldogs getting the win in last season’s game. Samford coach Chris Hatcher is pretty good, with a record of 153-83 in his career, although Samford went 5-7 last season. Bucs’ coach Randy Sanders is in his third year, and they went 3-9 last year.
Southern Illinois at North Dakota, 1 p.m. ET, ESPN+
Not North Dakota State, but North Dakota, is the opponent for the Salukis, who hold a win over Southeast Missouri State from October.
Davidson at Elon, 1:30 p.m. ET
The Wildcats vs the Phoenix. Davidson went 8-4 last season and finished in the middle of the pack of the Pioneer League. Elon went 5-6.
Western Carolina at No. 19 Furman, 2 p.m. ET
We got a little bit of a look at the Catamounts when they lost to that other Carolina in the fall, the one with Mack Brown coaching it. The Paladins sat out the fall.
Tarleton at New Mexico State, 2 p.m. ET
The Texans are 0-1 after losing to McNeese State in double overtime last week. How much of an advantage is it to get the rust off? In a spring season? Who the hell knows.
Northwestern State at Lamar, 4 p.m. ET
The Demons vs. the Cardinals. It’s the red birds, not the religious leaders. That’s a shame. Demons can probably beat red birds.